Make Every Man Want You More with Amy and Marie
When I first began as a dating expert many years ago, I believed that the main reason women weren't getting the love lives they wanted is because they didn't know what to do.
They didn't know how to dress to convey the right signals. They didn't know how to strike up a conversation. They didn't know how to flirt. They didn't know how to take things to the next level.
The women who wrote to me with their dating questions shared this belief. They believed that if they only knew "what to do" they'd be happily in love in no time.
"I'm having problems in my relationship. What should I do?"
"There's this man I'm really attracted to, but I don't know how he feels about me. What should I do?"
"I've been with this man for five years, and he still says he's not sure about marriage. What should I do?"
Clearly, giving dating advice must involve telling people WHAT TO DO, because all the other dating books out there (The Rules, Stop Getting Dumped, How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You) very pointedly outline what sort of behavior was permissible and what wasn't.
Almost every single dating expert agreed that, in the world of love and romance, there was the "right thing to do" and there was the "wrong thing to do" ... and if you did the wrong thing you'd get dumped or rejected or worse.
But was that really true?
Unraveling the Truth
When I met life coach and entrepreneur Marie Forleo, I wasn't so sure about her dating philosophy.
Now, Marie isn't just "anybody." She's so good at helping people break through and achieve their ultimate potential that she was recently interviewed by motivational guru Tony Robbins for one of his DVD courses.
Marie has the kind of credentials that put most of us to shame. She's a fitness personality and a dancer/choreographer. She's a published author and a successful entrepreneur. She's even worked as a trading assistant on the floor of the NYSE!
And you know that anyone whose advice has been featured in The New York Times, Shape Magazine, "The Rachael Ray Show," ABC’s 20/20, CNN.com, as well as Forbes.com, must have something good to say.
So does she know about dating that we don't?
Marie was teaching her coaching clients that the secret to a successful date was paying attention to your thoughts and feelings.
She explains that if you are present, alive, and truly interested in the person sitting across from you, you will communicate a very attractive energy.
If, on the other hand, you are worried about doing everything "right," you will communicate tension and inauthenticity - not so good!
She even advocates throwing away the rulebook and relaxing into the truth, honesty, and vitality of just being you.
Who cares if you're not coming across as "hard to get," "seductive," or "mysterious"? If that's not really you, it's just false advertising.
Relax into being you, she explains, and the right man will respond.
What an incredible message!
As you can imagine, it took some time for me to process this.
Could it really be true that all the other dating books were selling a lie?
Was it possible that telling women what they "should do" was actually a mistake?
No More Do's and Don'ts
As I learned more about Marie's message and read several of the books she recommends (such as Ariel and Shya Kane's Working on Yourself Doesn't Work), I began to realize that she had put her finger on something very important.
I was beginning to see that most dating advice puts the cart before the horse.
Sure, a woman can learn how to flirt and make conversation and act so that she'll catch men's attention, but is that really going to help her achieve what she really wants?
Most women don't want to attract hordes of men. They just want to attract a single man: one they like, one they feel good with, one who feels the same way about them.
They want to attract a man they can fall in love with, get married to, and raise a family with. You only need one man for that!
When it comes to attracting that right man for you, learning how to be your best self will get you much further than trying to be someone you're not.
And that was what Marie Forleo was a world-renown expert in.
The Birth of Make Every Man Want You More
So how did I come to meet Marie?
Marie was in the process of writing her book, Make Every Man Want You: How to Be So Irresistible You'll Barely Keep from Dating Yourself! (available on Amazon.com).
But she kept getting so much feedback from people that she knew, even then, that one book wasn't enough.
Women wanted to know more about her ideas. They wanted her to expand on what she meant. They wanted MORE!
Thus, the idea for Make Every Man Want You MORE! was born...
A mutual colleague put us in touch, and Marie explained to me that she wanted to create an audio course that would teach women how to flip their own internal "irresistibility" switch to the "on" position...
...So that they'd never have to memorize lists of do's and don'ts ever again!
Was I interested?
You bet I was!
Find out what's inside Make Every Man Want You More.
Can It Really Be That Easy?
The purpose of the course would be to elicit "ah-hah" moments in our listeners, where they would suddenly see their dating life in a whole new light.
They'd "get" what it means to be attractive.
They'd "get" why they hadn't been successful.
And, in that instant of understanding, everything would change for them, and their dating life would never be the same!
Those "ah-hah" moments would be crucial to the transformation we wanted to elicit in our listeners.
You know what I mean about "ah-hah" moments?
It's when you've been reading or listening to something, and suddenly you get something you've never understood before. It's as if you suddenly see the world in a totally different way. Certain things make sense to you in a way they never did before.
"Ah-hah" moments can totally transform your life...
...But you can't plan them.
Most "ah-hah" moments occur at completely unexpected times. They often come during casual, everyday conversations where we're talking with someone and something they say jogs our memory. The comment may not even be very profound, but the effect it has on us is like a pebble thrown into a pond. The ripples expand outward, opening our mind to new perspectives.
We wanted to create that "casual, everyday conversation" feel in our course.
We wanted our listeners to feel like they were sitting down with two of their best girlfriends ... girlfriends who also happened to be specialists in the field of dating and relationships!
We didn't want them to have to feel like they had to DO anything. All they had to do was listen.
We hoped our listeners would get so absorbed in our discussion that they would forget where they were or what they were doing ... and, in that moment of unselfconscious focus, miracles could happen!
Discover one of the our most powerful tips from Make Every Man Want You More.
Hours of Audio Taping
So Marie and I set a date.
On the scheduled time, we sat down in our respective studios -- hers in her home in New York, mine halfway across the world in an office in New Zealand -- and we began to talk.
We discussed the challenges of dating in a world where there really are no "rules." No one knows who's supposed to make the first move, or how soon it's "okay" to have sex, or how to talk about what they want. Women worry that if they bring up marriage and babies too soon, they'll scare a man off. But, by not talking about their expectations, they get stuck in that gray zone between "just dating" and being in a relationship. Movies and television programs don't help, either, by making us feel like we have to be thin and glamorous and live in New York to have a great sex life.
We debated whether it helps to play hard to get, whether being overweight or divorced or a single mum seriously disadvantages you, and what men really want on a date. We discussed whether men are just "after one thing," how to spot players, and the best places to find men. We talked about how to keep the spark in a relationship, how to deal with stress, and how to be honest when it's easier just to sweep things under the carpet.
It was the kind of conversation we wished we could have with every single woman on the planet on the line!
It wasn't about us dictating what people should think. Rather, we were exploring out loud different ways of thinking and seeing things.
We knew that discovering a new way of seeing things was much more powerful than doing what someone else tells you to do!
Now Available Online
Once the taping was done, it was time to put together the course.
And that job fell to me!
I had never edited an audio program before, and it took me some time to figure out how to use the editing program to make us sound our best.
Did You Know?
Because Marie lived in New York, I often had to edit out the sound of traffic! In fact, at one point in the taping, we had to wait five minutes for the garbageman to finish picking up the bins on her street in a cacophony of clanks and clatters.
Once I finished creating the MP3s, I sent them away to get transcribed. Reading something can give you a whole different perspective on it, and some people prefer reading to listening. Plus, if you have the transcript, you don't feel like you have to take notes. ;-)
Our graphic designer helped me put it together in a beautifully laid-out e-book that was easy to follow.
We were done! Our months of hard work had come to fruition. We put it online and waited to hear the response.
You can find out what our fans have to say on the Make Every Man Want You More! website.
Suffice to say that it is as life-changing as advertised, so don't try it unless you're prepared to start seeing the world in a whole new way!
My Own "Ah-Hah" Moment
You may recall that I had to undergo my own "ah-hah" moment just to be able to create this course.
I used to think that we women just needed to know "what to do" in order to succeed at dating and love.
Now, I know that the real reason we don't get the results we want is what's in our head.
It's how we think about dating. It's how we think about ourselves. It's our attitude.
Once we tackle the internal programming that's holding us back, the world around us starts to change in response.
It's easier to meet men. It's easier to have fun with men. It's easier to see who's right for us and who isn't.
Even better, you don't have to WORRY so much!
You don't have to worry that you're going to wreck it, or that you're not attractive enough, or that you'll reveal something too personal and scare him away, or that he'll turn out to be a loser, or that you're going to grow old alone....
Dating is scary and stressful for a lot of women, and it shouldn't be.
It should be fun, exciting, and fulfilling to meet people you haven't met before. It's all part of the great game of life. As human beings, we thrive on being socially connected. Intimacy is like fertilizer that helps us blossom into a beautiful rose.
So stop isolating yourself or beating yourself up for making mistakes. The problem isn't YOU. The problem isn't MEN, either! If there's any problem at all, it's in how you see the world.
Try on a new pair of glasses. See if Make Every Man Want You More changes everything you thought you knew about dating.
Don't forget: you'll be getting advice from the same woman who can teach Tony Robbins a thing or two!
And you'll be hearing from me, of course. ;-)
You really can't go wrong with Make Every Man Want You More! Isn't it worth it to get this area of your life sorted for good?
